Thursday, June 25, 2015

Mental Camping

"… Today you must decide who you will serve… You must choose for yourselves. But as for me and my family, we will serve the LORD." Joshua 24:15

New House!

Have you ever felt as if your prayers are hitting a ceiling? That they aren’t getting through, are not being listened to, regarded or responded toward?  Have you ever been in a period of waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, WAITING for things to come together so you can move forward situation?  It is frustrating, can be aggravating, annoying and discouraging; if you let it.

Joe and I just came out of a season of waiting, wondering, watching, wishing, dreaming and holding onto our faith with both hands; white-knuckle like. I won’t lie. It was hard.  So many questions ran through our minds: Will the transfer come through? Will we find a house? Where should we look? What price bracket? Will we move in time? Will we be settled enough to welcome a new life into this world? How do we sell the condo? When do we sell? Who do we have sell it for us? So many queries, not many answers, and seeming silence from heaven.  

I wish I could say I was the epitome of grace, faith and love during this time. I was not. The first part of May I became a bit snotty and aggravated at God. One morning I actually broke down and cried – not like me at all – with full force, unabridged, uncensored pregnant lady emotions flowing forth I “let God have it”. Did I feel better afterwards? No, not really – I was exhausted and needed a nap.

Laying there on the couch (trying to get my 8 month preggy body comfortable) I thought about what had just happened. I cried out, I emoted, I had a mini-tantrum… and was drained. God gives life, he doesn’t steal it. God restores energy, he doesn’t expend it. God grants, not takes away. I laid there and the tears flowed again. I realized whose camp I was living in; and it wasn’t the one where I wanted to be.  I had played right into the enemies hand and he took full advantage of my elevated hormones, shortsightedness, and fearing outlook. Argh. You thought I was upset before – I was REALLY mad now.

In short order I had things back in perspective.  I told the enemy where to go, started taking my thoughts / questions / inquiries captive (again) and commenced speaking truth over myself. God is for me, not against me. God will never leave me or forsake me. God has a plan for my life – and it is good! God is good. God works all things to the good for those that love him. All things will be added to me because I forsake all for his kingdom. God loves this baby more than I do and will provide shelter for her. God will provide in times of need. He will counsel us in the way we should go. He will bring us into a safe harbor. He will bestow blessing upon us and not shame. He will, he will, he will…

By the end of my “truth session,” as I call it, I felt energized, full of life, and hope.  “Now, this is what God feels like!” I said to myself.  A week later Joe’s transfer paperwork came through, 10 days later we found and made an offer on a house and within three weeks we closed, cleaned and moved.  Eleventh hour?  In my opinion yes, but the new house is functional, we ready as we can be for the baby to arrive (I am due tomorrow), and the condo lists today.

I write this to share that satan isn’t kind, empathetic, or understanding of your plight. He wants to take you down. Not because of who you are, but WHOSE you are. He wants to hurt God’s heart and when he messes, stresses, depresses you, God’s heart is affected.  We have a choice where we will camp - are you feeling more on the aggravated, annoyed, frustrated, depressed, morose, upset side or are you feeling full of hope, joy, peace and life? How you feel is up to you. You choose who you are listening to, who you partner with - where you camp out, mentally. What truth would change your outlook, cause a shift in campsites? Are you able to do it for yourself or do you need to contact a friend to speak truth over you?
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