Cast me not away from your presence; Oh Lord. Renew a right spirit within me. - Psalm 51
I embellished. I exaggerated. I heard the Holy Spirit whispering in my ear; checking me. I ignored the caution and continued; then forgot about it.
Until the next morning.
I went into my prayer closet and God wasn’t there. No presence. No welcome. No nothing.
It. Was. Awful.
I sat in my prayer chair and asked, searched, recalled any sin… and remembered. Repented. But, the presence did not return. I was be fret.
I was folding laundry later that morning (a usual presence zone for me) and he still had not returned. I remembered a song from my childhood based out of Psalm 51:
“Create in me a clean heart, O God, and put an upright spirit in me. Cast me not away from your presence; Oh Lord. But renew a right spirit within me.”
I hummed the scripture over myself… no presence. The rest of the day continued this way.
The next morning I returned to the chair. BOOM - The presence returned! I basked in it, I bathed in it. I soaked and sucked it in. I was so dry, thirsty and empty. I was full of thanksgiving, praise and adoration.
I asked why he waited, why he withheld his presence, even after I repented and sincerely apologized. I think it was a three fold lesson for me: 1. To remember what it was like to live without him (really hard and awful), 2. Not take his presence for granted and 3. A warning not to ignore Holy Spirits prompting in the future.
Lesson Learned. I won’t do that again.
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I didn’t want to post this. I didn’t even want to write it down. I wanted the whole blot of ick to pass into history as a lesson learned. But, I feel God said I need to be transparent.
I believe He shared with me that we are coming into a time of great exposure - broadly and individually. If there are hidden sins, transgressions, iniquity, it will be exposed and made public… maybe not on a national or international level but enough to bring embarrassment and possible shame. God is encouraging his body to get a head of the curve, repent, renew our standing and position in him and come clean, live righteously, honorably and in a way that invites his presence to continually abide.
Pray with me: “Create in me a clean heart, O God, put an upright spirit in me. Cast me not away from your presence; Oh Lord. Renew a right spirit within me.”