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  • Writer's pictureDena Grace

Feeling vs. Heart

This weekend I repented. 

I repented of anger. I repented of callousness of heart. I repented for partnering with fear and inactivity. I repented for being silent and staying in the shadows. I repented for making excuses and staying sidelined vs. engaging in the war around me.

“Wild Kyle” is a friend who went up to the CHOP/CHAZ zone to see for himself what was really happening, experience the atmosphere, witness history. He wrote a short testimony, shared via email, about his adventure in the autonomous zone.  What he shared is very different than what I saw on my computer screen.

Yes, there was violence, disorganization and lack of clear leadership. Yes, there were demonstrations, public displays, and raw passion and emotion being constantly vented. Kyle went up as a concerned Christian citizen to prayer walk the area. To, hopefully, penetrate the perimeter and pray for those inside. He watched, observed and asked God what to do and when to do it.

Opportunity presented itself and he was able to join forces with some men who traveled from Florida for the same purpose. They gained entry and started a soccer game. “Locals” joined in. Trust grew. Water distributed. Food given. More trust built. Conversation started; hurt, disillusionment, wounds, passion revealed. Prayer offered and accepted... AND THEN... and then... and then the miraculous broke out. Deaf ears opened. Pain banished. Deliverance. Christ accepted. Baptisms, in an inflatable raft, followed.  Feet washed - not just by the men sent to do so, but by the locals after they experienced the humbling overwhelming love, concern and care communicated to them. They wanted to share with others.

I was deeply humbled when I read his words; digested his stories. In all honesty, the entire CHOP/CHAZ incident has made me angry - they are destroying my hometown! They are harming the neighborhood; terrorizing the residents. They are destroying the of small business’s and industry in the area. They are dislocating families. My spirit rumbled with “cut the power, stop the water, remove the porta-potties, kill the internet” and they will disband. I saw the small picture; Kyle and his buddies the big one. I villianized; Kyle felt compassion and curiosity, saw the passionate, hurting crowd wanting their voices heard, wanting an outlet to express their views and beliefs. Kyle met them where they were. I watched a biased report from my computer screen - and prayed what I felt vs. God’s heart.

Thus the repentance.

Now, after a conversation with Kyle, I realize I am not the one to evangelize in CHOP/CHAZ. But, I can pray protection for for he and his buddies, for the other ministries who have penetrated the ANTIFA perimeter and are establishing a presence and sharing Jesus’ good news and bringing deliverance. I can declare God’s heart to be manifested. I can push back the dark forces at work and ask for angels to assist, war, and establish.

For you see, God is good. He is faithful. He is patient. He is kind and consistent. He cannot be shaken and he gets better over time - in fact, everyday He gets better. The people in CHOP/CHAZ need this reality just as much as I do.

You Keep On Getting Better: Maverick City Music

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