“You are so pretty. I think you are one of the loveliest people I know. You radiate kindness. I love you.”
Strange words coming from the man in front of her. She was not accustomed to hearing them. He wasn’t a disparaging or condemning man, just not effusive or affirming. She was used to a much quieter, silent, stalwart type of affection… but then, the aneurysm. Now what he thought came gushing forth, on everyone, everywhere. There was no longer a gate, a hinderance, an impedance.
My friends and I are dealing with aging parents. The affects of choices made, thoughts pondered, judgements proclaimed, lifestyles lived, are having their way. Injuries incurred while 20 are having their full ramifications, eating behaviors and mindsets are catching up and, in some cases, debilitating their designers. Worst of all, some are loosing touch with reality and whatever was buried in their hearts is now tumbling forth.
While we are of sound mind, we can gate, guard, oversee (for the most part) what proceeds from our lips (if we think before we speak). But in the aged, the muddled, thoughts seem to consume, perseverate, and long recessed heart beliefs pour forth.
Out of the heart the mouth speaks (Matthew 15:18).
From observing my grandparents slow decline into dementia, confusion, disorientation and bewilderment and watching my girlfriends deal with similar it galvanizes me to deal with my own heart, judgements, thoughts and ideas.
“Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.” Psalm 51:10
I want to be like the man who gushes good things, purveys the positive, is affirming and encouraging to others in his latter years. I want to call out the favorable, the fine, the exceptional. I want my ungated lips to bring people closer to the desire of my heart - not push them away.
So again, I say, Lord, create in me a clean heart - so I may ascend the mountain of the Lord, I may stand in his holy place because I have clean hands and a pure heart. (Psalm 24:3-4).
The adage “it eventually all comes out” is true - just how is the question. I want it to be of my own volition, admission, and timing…and there is no time like the present!