Doubt is Dumb

Another dementia learning point: Doubt is Dumb.

One of the hallmarks of the chronically confused is repetition, or “perseverance”. The same questions, opinions, stories, repeated over and over and over. This may last hours, days or even into weeks. And, the kicker is, they do not remember previously discussing it, relating it, or sharing it - and if you show signs of dismissal, anger, or irritation YOU are the one with the issue.

I have been met with all consuming fears, needs, and desires. In their mind, they need groceries, they need to find a job, they worry about my new house on the east coast, my condo in Hawaii, Emily’s assimilation into her new school, Joe’s new job and commute, us finding a church to attend…none, let me repeat, NONE, of this anxiety is valid (I have not moved, I do not own multiple residences, and Joe did not change jobs).

This new life reality caused a review on how I approach God with my requests, petitions and inquiries.

I seek his counsel, advice, encouragement and feel I maybe have an answer, a direction…but, do I really? Is it really what he said? Did I hear correctly?  Hmmm, not so sure, doesn’t make sense. Doesn’t line up. Doesn’t fit with my surroundings and life.

I bring up the issue again, and again for good measure, and maybe again to be absolutely 100% sure… and he remains silent.

Anxiety, fear of the unknown, loss of control are all familiar as we navigate our lives in this world. But, allowing them to remain, partnering with them, skews our perception and path forward and can be a sign of unbelief, of doubt.

God has not changed. His answer has not changed. He told me. I have to believe him. I have to trust him. I have to walk out what he said.

“The Lord isn’t really being slow about his promise, as some people think. No, he is being patient for your sake…” 2 Peter 3:9a NLT