Laugh, Cry or Learn

Dementia is awful. I am watching my parents deteriorate before my eyes; what they once achieved they attain no more. It is a long, extended, grief walk and goodbye.

As one slips deeper and deeper into the ‘land of nod’ the gates and barriers of societal propriety, speech filters, thought sifters are dismantled, removed or damaged. Sentiment, input, desire, are all on a level playing field, all have equal value, weight and acknowledgement - and it produces some hilarious and some deeply saddening situations. What once would have been held back, censored, and kept private is now divulged. I have heard/seen/watched several heart wrenching or hysterically funny situations in the last two years.

Those journeying with befuddled and confused persons have a choice - laugh or cry. I choose, most of the time, to laugh. I have also chosen to learn. I now understand, at a deeper level, God means what he says:

1. Do not go to bed angry. Thoughts, feelings, and emotions get turned into long term memories while you sleep. Negative, frustrating, anger attached memories / emotions  reside, are remembered and recalled, for the rest of your life unless you forgive, release and remove them. God says “do it before you sleep”. “In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,” Ephesians 4:26 NIV

2. Forgiveness is Vital. If you harbor any ill will, ungodly thoughts or perceptions they WILL come to light. The negative, condemning, bitter comments pop out of mouths unexpectedly as the grasp of reality blurs. Old wounds resurface, old habits commence, old perceptions come back alive once more…if not healed by forgiveness. “For there is nothing hidden that will not become evident, nor anything secret that will not be known and come out into the open.” Luke 8:17 AMP

3. Take Thoughts Captive. Dementia has taught me bad habits, even if controlled, will come back with a vengeance if not surrendered and healed by Jesus. What seems small and controllable will spiral and take over if not completely removed and healed. “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” 2 Corinthians 10:5 NIV

4. Rid your life of all unclean things. God wants it to go well with us ALL the days of our life. But, we have to partner with him in making it happen. Forgive freely, repent often, make thankfulness and gratitude the primary mode of speech, hold no bitterness, envy, rage or frustration. In ALL things give thanks to the Lord. “But what comes out of your mouth reveals the core of your heart. Words can pollute, not food. You will find living within an impure heart evil ideas, murderous thoughts, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, lies, and slander. That’s what pollutes a person…”” Matthew 15:18-20 TPT

Walking with not one, but two individuals with dementia is a constant education. I don’t believe God wants, planned or promoted the mental decline in my parents - who knows the many, multiple factors that led us to where we are today. The hard truth is I am saying goodbye to who they were, hello to who they are, and trying to prepare for what they will become.

And learning, learning, learning.