I have a tendency to labor, to work, “to task” as my husband calls it. The more stress I feel, the more pressure or weight, the more I “do”. I am the opposite of Mary. I have her heart, just not her positioning.
Recently, I was very convicted of this.
Picture a COVID bubble - a 5yo with exuberant energy levels and winter (horrible wet/cold/blustery) weather outside. I was overwhelmed with grocery needs, cooking, laundry and kindergarten painting/crafting, homeschooling, etc. “Groundhog Day” had happened one too many times and I felt my limit approaching.
I reached out to some prophetic prayer people and cried for coverage. It came…and one of them shared a dream they had a few nights previous. I was its central figure. I was running, running, planning, never sitting, resting or reclining; I was go, go, go, going, doing.
In short succession, several other sources confirmed the dreams message:
A Paul Keith Davis podcast from May 2015 about the Israelites. God got them across the sea; He did it, they did not. They stood and waited; HE moved.
Nate and Christy Johnson posted about opposition to deeper rest being an issue: “This is where the enemy wars against you entering the secret place, bombarding you with busyness, striving, pressure to get things done, and sudden overwhelming distractions…”
A post by Lana Vawser: “It is very important right now, more than ever, to prioritize the secret place. To prioritize your time with the Lord. To prioritize the time sitting at His feet.”
I do not feel I am alone on my merry-go-round of do, do, do’s. The morning after my friend shared her dream with me, I forced myself off the ride and sat in my prayer corner, put on soaking music and held still. Random to-do’s popped into my head - people to text, bills to pay, companies to contact. I ignored them all. I sat, and sat, and sat, and sat UNTIL peace came. Until the presence was so thick I could barely keep myself vertical, in fact, I didn’t, I collapsed under the weight and received. It was renewing.
I was living the wrong way. Doing, doing, doing does nothing but make a drop dead Dena. Worship, praise, and positioning myself correctly replenishes, restores, renews and does a myriad of other things only God is aware of on a local, domestic and international level. It seems backwards, upside-down, foolish even. Rest to win? Recline to reclaim? Stillness to achieve? I am discovering God’s kingdom is very different to what I have learned. I like His way better.
Be still. And Know. I am God. Ps. 46:10